Archive for the ‘The Picture of Dorian Gray’ Category

If Celluloid Was Toilet Paper: I Would Understand Where These Films Came From.

January 4, 2010

What Are They?

The Picture of Dorian Gray  was based on the intellectual supernatural page turner by Oscar Wild. To Kill a King was a historical war film based on the puritan reformation under Oliver Cromwell with Rupert Everett as King Charles IThe Spiderwick Chronicles was a family fantasy that came with many personal recommendations. The The Wager is a loose modernisation of the book of Job staring Randy Travis as an action start with a family friendly edge who has God and Satan betting that he can not live by the Sermon on the Mount. (Matthew 5 ) Finally, First Sunday is a a crime comedy starring Ice Cube as a down and out man who, with his friend, try to rob a church.

How were they?

Doren Grey turned out to be a “made for TV” mistake. The genus of the book was crushed under an avalanche of smults with in the first 10 min. So we moved on “To Kill A King.” As the movie went on they kept giving hints that it was about to become a good movie at any moment. After an hour of being teased in this manor, the grave of the eject button set us free. As this disappointment dissipated, “The Spiderwick Chronicles” conquered it all back. As the story rolled out, I occasionally wished they would steal enough for The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe to make it good, but they continued to get just enough to make it irritating.The Wager sucked in that special way only a Christian movie can. It never could figure out what movie it was trying to be (or steal from) as the main character fluctuated between seemingly differed personalities and all was summed up with an ending that had nothing to do with the main conflict of the film.  So I started writing this while we were watching “First Sunday.”  As the men rob a church full of Tyler Perry cast off characters, we at least are given the dignity of having the obligatory actor in drag leave right away. Oddly enough, it was occasionally funny.

Were they good for Kids?

Dorien, was unfit for me. To Kill A King kept showing every one’s wife half undressed and then people bleeding.  Spiderwick used God as a cuss word but cut off something starting with “Sh”. The Wager is the kind of schlock that may just give your kids a bad taste for Christian film, unless they like it and then it will just give your kids bad taste in film.  And Lastly “First Sunday” had a bunch of minor cuss words and several shots of a church woman in a revealing outfit. (So I just keep typing.)

What About Spiritual Issues?

Read Dorien Grey, it’s does have some great ideas. To Kill A King kept showing Christians as Jerks on both sides. Spiderwick gave us a bunch of fantasy drivel with no discernment between it and the real world, lined up with telling us that we need to believe the problem kid for no reason. It brightens up by letting us know that it is wrong for a man to leave his family and kids for something else, but then darkens again as you realise that leaving is the only thing every adult man can do because, being an adult man, he is a looser making this bad choice. Finally one of the absent fathers becomes a God figure for no real reason. The wager talks about God in a convoluted way that may not be blasphemy but is not interesting or inspiring either. First Sunday offers redemption and forgiveness but is oddly hazy about why or how  the redemption is given, making it unsure if it’s Christian or Humanism.

What Is Your Recommendation?

Why beat the dead horse?